Going Home

We got out of jail late Sunday night. I remember sitting outside waiting and thinking what do I do from here? What do I do if they don't let my husband out? Where do I start? How do I find my kids? How do I get them back?

I wasn't sure how to go home without my kids being there. I know I was SO thankful that my dogs were there for me to go home to. My in laws had taken me home and my husband was with Caleb picking his car up.

My best friend had been going to the house and taking care of our dogs. They were so glad to see me! But I was so lost without my kids being there. No one knows what it is like to one minute your life be good with your kids and the next minute all three kids are gone.

I remember sobbing like there was no tomorrow that night. I felt so alone. I had no idea where my kids were or if they was ok or not. I walked thru the house and was just lost.

I had been told at 18 yrs old I would never have kids and God Blessed me with three great kids. From day one of being pregnant my life revolved around my kids. They were my pride and joy, my life, my everything. How would I go on without them?

Jail

My husband I was in jail for a week. A lot of that we can thanks the bail bondsman for. She didn't bother taking the time to call and verify who we were so we just sat there. I wasn't allowed to see or speak to my husband. I cried and cried and said I just give up cause they took my babies. That was not what they wanted to hear.

They threw me in the front of the building in a glass room where when anyone new came in they could see me. They took my clothes. I had no TV, no phone and no one to talk to. So I cried. And cried and cried and cried some more.  In the week we was there I slept about a total of 15 hours. I stopped eating everything. I was having severe chest pain. (I have had two heart attacks already) I was refused medical treatment. Every Time they shut the flap on the door I beat the door and screamed until they opened it. The nurse decided I needed to have someone sit outside the door and talk to me to try to keep me calm. That worked for a couple of hours but then a guard said she couldn't stay there anymore. 

I saw the bruises from where Mitch had grabbed me and pushed me down. I asked for someone to take pictures and to file a complaint. Of course I was refused that also.

The last day I was there a different bail bondsman came by my door and I was crying and begging for him to please help me get out of there. He said he would call the judge and see what he could do. I figured he would never come back. But he did! He said the other bail bondsman hadn't made any calls to verify who we were so thats why we had been sitting there the whole week. The Judge had finally released me OR. Thank God!

As they were getting my paperwork ready for me to leave they said they were also releasing my husband. I was so happy but that happiness would soon turn to confusion once again.

I sat outside the jail and called my best friend on my cell phone. She had called my mother and father in law and they were coming to get me. It was about 1 A.M. on a Sunday. My husband came out of the jail and it was clear he was still mad. He had called his son Caleb to come get him and said I couldn't ride with them. So my mother and father in law took me home.
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What?

The Trooper that took me to the jail was actually a very nice man. He had remembered my kids from Troopers Island and talked highly of them. Now that I sit and think back I was rude to him. He let me get out and smoke before he took me in the jail and I told him I had always been taught to have respect for the police but now I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire. He just got this look but said nothing. 

As we were waiting to go in the jail I saw my dad. He looked at me and turned his head. I will never ever in my life forget the look on his face. This was the man who had worked his whole life enforcing the law and we was always so proud of him and his job and so was he. Now he had been arrested because of lies. I remember as I was talking to the bail bondsman I was watching him pace back and forth in his cell and I kept telling her they need to check on him because his heart is very very bad. Come to find out months later he actually had a heart attack while there and his defibrillator shocked his heart. Hours and hours later he got to leave OR. As he walked by the cell I was in he just looked at me and walked off. I just cried and cried and knew my dad would never be the same again and he would never love me like he had before.

When they brought my husband in I could tell just by looking at him he was so mad. He just looked at me and turned his head. I was so hurt. I couldn't figure out what the heck was even going on much less deal with everyone being so mad at me. I finally got to use the phone after hours and hours. I called my mom and she was screaming at me how I had ruined my brothers life and how my dad had worked so hard his whole life at enforcing the law and now was in jail. I finally told her I didn't have to listen to that crap and hung up on her. Later I realized she was just as upset as I was about what was going on but I knew we would never be close again.

I got to jail early that day and was refused a phone call until up in the night. It was cold. I couldn't stop crying no matter what. All I could think about was my kids. Where were they? Were they ok? When would I see them again? It didn't take long for me to loose the will to live....
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