I grew up being taught family is everything but in the last two years I have often wondered how true that is. My parents were in foster care as well as my grandparents and I wanted to follow in their footsteps and be a foster parent one day to.
I had 11 brothers and sisters. Some from first marriages and some adopted but I am the only blood child with my mom and dad. Now I say blood child because I have never in my life ever thought of my siblings as not being my siblings. We may have fussed with each other but God help anyone that messed with one of us because we would all come after you and at the same time. Isn't that how family is supposed to be?
I guess as you get older and get married and have families of your own things change. Personally in our case I think some of the spouses my siblings chose is why things changed. Its never good when you have a brother in law who lives for drama. Who calls CPS on you because he wants your son or lies to landlords to get you kicked out so he can have the house you're living in. I could go on and on but wont. Now personally to this day if my husband messed with any of my siblings even though they disowned me after this happened I would personally put him in his place. Family is family and stick together no matter what right? No I don't guess they do.
I haven't spoke to my 8 of my siblings in two years. When this all happened I was to blame for everything. My brother in law said I should be put in jail for trying to talk to my parents. One of my siblings who I won't name made a terrible fake facebook page about me for the world to see. Several siblings and nieces all posted on there. I have this printed off and copies of it all. My grandfather died and my husband found out about it on facebook and told me. My mothers sister forbid me and my kids to come near the funeral home. I had to tell my kids who were living hell to start with that their great grandfather died and we were forbid to go the the funeral home by my Aunt. I will never as long as I live forgive her.
I had a no contact order with me and my dad and me and my brother. My kids were also not allowed contact with either of them. I always knew I could talk to my dad about anything and now when i needed him the most I couldn't talk to him at all. My little brother is mentally handicapped and was being treated worse than we were by CPS and KSP.
Kate Jeffcoat told us that my dad would sit in her office for hours and hours and tell her how she should take my kids away. And I was a drunk and druggie. Mitch Harris said he told her this was all lies and and this was all my daughter being sexually active. He also said my dad said I was crazy and would call him and my mom all the time. I was also told dad said my kids were having sex with each other. Who do you believe? I know dad was trying to get the focus off my brother but who throws their own daughter and grand kids under the bus? Why in the world was he even doing all this talking to the police and social workers? He was a State Trooper for 24 years and should have known better.
There is DVDs of my brother talking to Mitch Harris and Kate Jeffcoat and he was saying crazy stuff also. Like this was all lies because I was mad at them and made this stuff up. And I was crazy and so much more.
So who do you believe Some of these things are on DVDs that Mitch recorded and some are not. My dad has a very bad heart and come to find out he had two heart attacks while being interviewed with Mitch that day. From previous experience with his heart attacks he was saying things and didn't even know what he was talking about. Was I mad? Yes I was. I still get angry for some of the things that was said. I get angry because he should have known better being a State Trooper for 24 years then to talk to them to start with.
I get angry at some of the things my husband said. Like he would leave me for custody of the kids. Or talking about this with his ex wife and older kids. Or letting them come to court when they were partly to blame for what was going on. I felt like after all the years we had been together and everything we had been threw we needed to stand together. Mitch Harris actually told my husband if he would divorce me and take the kids away from me and my family that he would help him get custody of the kids back. I was very upset that he would consider taking my kids from me and let some asshole threaten him.
This is how I saw it. CPS and KSP wanted us all to turn on each other and that's exactly what everyone but me did. I said time and time again that we needed to unite and stand together and show them they were wrong and not let them tear us apart but no one felt the same way.
If I didn't make an effort with my parents to this very day I would probably never talk to them. I call them or try to arrange to go see them. They don't call me and when I have seen them wont go in public with me because they don't want to be seen with me. Im sorry but I didn't do anything wrong and that hurts me more then anyone will ever know. I love my parents so much and would do anything for them but sometimes wonder if they would do the same.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Jumping thru hoops
It is amazing the hoops CPS wants you to jump thru. They wanted us to take parenting classes and set them up. After we had done 7 weeks of them they changed their minds and said we needed to take them somewhere else. But then they wanted us to pay 100.00 each to take them. They demanded i take random drug and alcohol testing because they said my dad had told them I was a drunk and druggie. When they called I always went and passed every single test because it wasn't true. They wanted t do a DNA test on Clint to see if my father was his father. If I hadn't been so shocked about that one I would have found it funny. We knew where our kids were from the day we got out of jail. We had addresses, phone numbers and everything. Now I would think if we was such bad parents we wouldn't have been allowed that info. We was in court every other week for six months straight. If it wasn't over the kids it was over the failure to report abuse charges. And every two weeks it was rescheduled for two weeks later. We weren't allowed to be alone with the kids at all because they were afraid we would talk to them about the case. We were allowed phone calls from them every night but the foster parent had to listen to what was being said. The kids weren't allowed to tell us if they had gotten into trouble or if something was bothering them or they would be made to hang up. Geneva said the phone calls were not to be used for those things. We weren't to be alone with the kids at all so we had to find someone who would supervise visits but yet the workers on 2 different occasions got in the car and left us with the kids and foster parents.
We had the monthly visits at our home from the workers. We had weekly visits with the boys and only with Mindy if someone would supervise. Telling my daughter she couldn't come visit was wrong. It made her feel terrible. After all we had been thru and then she wasn't even allowed to visit when the boys did?
I called the worker every single day. If my kids told me something that had been done to them I called and threw a fit. I spent hours and hours on the phone with attorneys and online doing research and even reading law books on family law. I set up a camera or my phone every single time a worker came in my house or called and recorded everything. I wrote down and documented every phone call that came in or went out, every visit and I let them know I did it. I trusted no one anymore.
We had the monthly visits at our home from the workers. We had weekly visits with the boys and only with Mindy if someone would supervise. Telling my daughter she couldn't come visit was wrong. It made her feel terrible. After all we had been thru and then she wasn't even allowed to visit when the boys did?
I called the worker every single day. If my kids told me something that had been done to them I called and threw a fit. I spent hours and hours on the phone with attorneys and online doing research and even reading law books on family law. I set up a camera or my phone every single time a worker came in my house or called and recorded everything. I wrote down and documented every phone call that came in or went out, every visit and I let them know I did it. I trusted no one anymore.
Seeing the kids for the first time
Clint was released from Kosairs after we had our care plan meeting. A worker went and picked him up and brought him to the CPS office. I will never ever forget seeing him for the first time since they took them. I grabbed him and wrapped my arms around him and wouldn't let go. I just kept telling him I love him and asking him if he was ok. He said yes he was ok and mom can you please let go now. I know I held him for a good five minutes before Kate Jeffcoate rudely told us to come out of the hall.
We went in a room where they had glass and they sat on one side and watched and listened to everything we were saying. At that point I was so glad to see him I just didn't care.
The foster parent was bringing Mindy and Jeff to the office so we could see them. I don't know who ran to each other faster me or them. I just grabbed them and didn't want to let go. We all went back in the meeting room and of course they had a lot of questions. Geneva called me out in the hall to tell me that we weren't to talk about what had happened and just to tell them we just wanted to visit with them so we wasn't going to talk about it. Do you know how hard that was one me? I wasn't allowed to answer any questions they had. The whole point of that was they didn't want me to say anything negative about CPS or KSP. We tried to make the best of the little time we had with them.
It didn't seem like we had very long with them. We asked them if there was things they wanted from home and told them we would bring them the next visit. About all we could say at that point was we was doing what we could to get them home as fast as we could.
Leaving them that day was terrible. The foster mother had brought them and when it was time for them to leave the workers got in their cars and left and left us standing in the parking lot with our kids and foster mom. They got in her truck and before we got back to our car Mindy and Jeff was running across the parking lot screaming. The foster mother was all mad because they wouldn't get in the truck. We hugged them and I carried Jeff back to the truck while Mindy walked with my husband. I had to literally put Jeff in the truck and fasten his seatbelt He was screaming for me not to make him go and I was crying and said I don't have a choice. He was screaming crying and saying yes you do. The foster mom shut the truck door and drove off. Later when i was thinking about it I came to the conclusion we must not be such bad parents if the workers felt comfortable enough leaving us alone with them. For all they knew we could have beat the foster mom and took the kids and ran. This was only the first week of the next 6 months of hell we would have....
We went in a room where they had glass and they sat on one side and watched and listened to everything we were saying. At that point I was so glad to see him I just didn't care.
The foster parent was bringing Mindy and Jeff to the office so we could see them. I don't know who ran to each other faster me or them. I just grabbed them and didn't want to let go. We all went back in the meeting room and of course they had a lot of questions. Geneva called me out in the hall to tell me that we weren't to talk about what had happened and just to tell them we just wanted to visit with them so we wasn't going to talk about it. Do you know how hard that was one me? I wasn't allowed to answer any questions they had. The whole point of that was they didn't want me to say anything negative about CPS or KSP. We tried to make the best of the little time we had with them.
It didn't seem like we had very long with them. We asked them if there was things they wanted from home and told them we would bring them the next visit. About all we could say at that point was we was doing what we could to get them home as fast as we could.
Leaving them that day was terrible. The foster mother had brought them and when it was time for them to leave the workers got in their cars and left and left us standing in the parking lot with our kids and foster mom. They got in her truck and before we got back to our car Mindy and Jeff was running across the parking lot screaming. The foster mother was all mad because they wouldn't get in the truck. We hugged them and I carried Jeff back to the truck while Mindy walked with my husband. I had to literally put Jeff in the truck and fasten his seatbelt He was screaming for me not to make him go and I was crying and said I don't have a choice. He was screaming crying and saying yes you do. The foster mom shut the truck door and drove off. Later when i was thinking about it I came to the conclusion we must not be such bad parents if the workers felt comfortable enough leaving us alone with them. For all they knew we could have beat the foster mom and took the kids and ran. This was only the first week of the next 6 months of hell we would have....
Monday, April 29, 2013
Lying Accusations
To this day i am still amazed at the lies that were told. On one of the biggest lies that was told was that I was a drug addict and alcoholic. If I drink once a year it is a miracle. I have NEVER even tried a drug in my life.It was said that my kids were having sex with each other. It was said I had hit Mindy across the face and back. It was even told to the Judge that no family would take our kids so they needed to be placed in foster care. It was said my dad and I conducted an investigation in March and felt there wasn't a need to call the police which was not true. It was also said that after we found out what happened to Mindy that we allowed her around my brother again. It wa stated the dynamic is this family is toxic and is impacting the the children in a way that is detrimental to their well being. It was said that my father was the father of my son Clint. That I placed Mindy on birth control so she wouldn't get pregnant by her uncle.Dr. Mary Lou Reichardt the one that reported all of this had her own lies. She reported that she was told by my husband that he knew Mindy was sexually abused and that he didn't feel bad at it and she reported he was holding Mindy in an seemingly intimate manner. I often sit and wonder how these people can just make up these random lies and get away with it. Just because they are a Social Worker, A Doctor or the Police doesn't mean anything. How many Social Workers, Police, Judges, Doctors, Lawyers have been caught in lies??
These accusations were not kept quiet. These blatant lies were put in the local newspapers and the local news stations. The news reporters wanted to make sure and make us front page news and we were the top story on the news but when all charges were dropped not one news source was willing to report that or hear our story.
There isn't one single thing that I have said in this blog that I cant back up with DVDs, documents and more
These accusations were not kept quiet. These blatant lies were put in the local newspapers and the local news stations. The news reporters wanted to make sure and make us front page news and we were the top story on the news but when all charges were dropped not one news source was willing to report that or hear our story.
There isn't one single thing that I have said in this blog that I cant back up with DVDs, documents and more
The care plan
After we left court we were told to meet Kate Jeffcoat at the CPS office in Shelbyville to do a care plan. The thought of being in the room with kate made me sick. My attorney was also there with me as well as Kates supervisor and our new worker Geneva Bruce. I was still at the point that i couldn't stop crying. They were asking us things like did the kids sleep with a nightlight, did they use certain soap or shampoo and said they would make sure and buy all the special things the kids used. We were given so many papers that day to sign that i don't even remember what they all were. I remember jumping up at one point and running from the room crying. Kate followed me out and so did my attorney Mike because i had told him she better stay away or i was going to beat the hell out of her.Kate went on to tell me that it was ok to be sad and cry and I was thinking had she not been such a liar we would not be where we were.
Our care plan was pages and pages long. We had to take parenting classes. We had to take a class on signs of sexual abuse. I had to have random drug testing and alcohol testing. We had to set up visits. This meeting went on for what seemed like hours. How they expect any good parent in their right mind to comprehend losing their kids, false accusations, jail, court and case plans all at one time is beyond me. I could barely sit up at this point let alone make major decisions.
Geneva Bruce introduced herself as our new worker. She went on to say she was there anytime we needed her and I could call her every single day to check on the kids if I wanted. I'm sure she didn't literally mean that but I assured her I would and I did. Every single day I called her. If something was going on with my kids at 8PM at night I blew her cell phone up texting her. Mike my attorney got mad and said her job stopped at 5 PM and I said as long as she is my kids caseworker her job is 24/7 and I meant that.
There was a very few couple of times I was sick and didnt call her so she called me to make sure I was ok since I hadnt called her.
Our care plan was pages and pages long. We had to take parenting classes. We had to take a class on signs of sexual abuse. I had to have random drug testing and alcohol testing. We had to set up visits. This meeting went on for what seemed like hours. How they expect any good parent in their right mind to comprehend losing their kids, false accusations, jail, court and case plans all at one time is beyond me. I could barely sit up at this point let alone make major decisions.
Geneva Bruce introduced herself as our new worker. She went on to say she was there anytime we needed her and I could call her every single day to check on the kids if I wanted. I'm sure she didn't literally mean that but I assured her I would and I did. Every single day I called her. If something was going on with my kids at 8PM at night I blew her cell phone up texting her. Mike my attorney got mad and said her job stopped at 5 PM and I said as long as she is my kids caseworker her job is 24/7 and I meant that.
There was a very few couple of times I was sick and didnt call her so she called me to make sure I was ok since I hadnt called her.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Everyday Hell and Family
Writing this has been so hard on me. Mentally hard. There is so much more to this story and I promise I will get it all on here.
At this point I suffer from severe PTSD and two of my kids suffer from PTSD. All 3 kids have behaviour problems since coming home. We each have our good days and our bad days. Some days we are happy and some days we cry. We trust no one in this world anymore and that includes extended family.
Unless you have lived this hell you can never begin to understand where we are coming from. It has been so hard on everyone but I think I have dealt with it the worst from family. I went from having a very close relationship with my 11 brothers and sisters, nieces/nephews, my parents, grandparents to having none of them. I grew up being taught family was everything and in the end it has been nothing. Yes I talk to my parents but have seen them maybe 3 times in 2 years and talk to them very little on the phone. My siblings all except for 2 turned on me the minute this happened. My grandfather passed away shortly after this happened and my Aunt refused to allow us to come to the funeral home. My grandmother actually told me I had been nothing but trouble from the day I was born.
Do I feel sorry for myself? No I don't. Do I wish I had done things different? Oh yes I do. Do I know how to heal? Not a clue. Am I angry? I'm so pissed off it isn't even funny. Is this blog going to make people mad? I'm 100%sure it is going to make a lot of people very mad. Is that my intention? No it really isn't.
I want our story to help others. I hope this helps us heal. I hope we can get justice with our story. I hope our story helps other families from living the hell we have lived.
At this point I suffer from severe PTSD and two of my kids suffer from PTSD. All 3 kids have behaviour problems since coming home. We each have our good days and our bad days. Some days we are happy and some days we cry. We trust no one in this world anymore and that includes extended family.
Unless you have lived this hell you can never begin to understand where we are coming from. It has been so hard on everyone but I think I have dealt with it the worst from family. I went from having a very close relationship with my 11 brothers and sisters, nieces/nephews, my parents, grandparents to having none of them. I grew up being taught family was everything and in the end it has been nothing. Yes I talk to my parents but have seen them maybe 3 times in 2 years and talk to them very little on the phone. My siblings all except for 2 turned on me the minute this happened. My grandfather passed away shortly after this happened and my Aunt refused to allow us to come to the funeral home. My grandmother actually told me I had been nothing but trouble from the day I was born.
Do I feel sorry for myself? No I don't. Do I wish I had done things different? Oh yes I do. Do I know how to heal? Not a clue. Am I angry? I'm so pissed off it isn't even funny. Is this blog going to make people mad? I'm 100%sure it is going to make a lot of people very mad. Is that my intention? No it really isn't.
I want our story to help others. I hope this helps us heal. I hope we can get justice with our story. I hope our story helps other families from living the hell we have lived.
Crying and my health
I don't care what I did I just could not get it together. I couldn't stop crying to save my life. I had never in my life been one to cry or show my feelings and I had cried for a solid week and couldn't stop.
Bless my poor mother in laws heart I think I scared her to death. We had stopped by her house after court and I stayed in the car to try and get it together. I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. I got out of the car and went in the house and remember sinking down on the couch and losing it. I cried and cried and yelled I just could not live without my kids and more. I didn't look at her but I know she was confused. She just started talking and telling me to be strong for the kids and I just kept saying I couldn't and I didn't want to live without them. My husband came over and hugged me and I finally got it together enough to leave.
We went to Kroger and when i walked in and say a little kid I fell apart again. My husband finally told me I had to stop and get it together because he couldn't deal with it.
The whole time I had been in jail I had severe chest pain and begged that they call and a Doctor and they refused. Plus I had stopped eating and drinking. After court I went to see my cardiologist and my blood pressure was high and heart rate was high. My heart felt like it was going to jump from my chest. My potassium had dropped so low I had to go to the hospital and have potassium ran thru an iv. It was so low it could have killed me but yet the jail let me lay there for a week like that. A few months later they found out I also had three more blocked arteries in my heart. But the jail said there was nothing wrong with me. Wrong!!
Bless my poor mother in laws heart I think I scared her to death. We had stopped by her house after court and I stayed in the car to try and get it together. I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. I got out of the car and went in the house and remember sinking down on the couch and losing it. I cried and cried and yelled I just could not live without my kids and more. I didn't look at her but I know she was confused. She just started talking and telling me to be strong for the kids and I just kept saying I couldn't and I didn't want to live without them. My husband came over and hugged me and I finally got it together enough to leave.
We went to Kroger and when i walked in and say a little kid I fell apart again. My husband finally told me I had to stop and get it together because he couldn't deal with it.
The whole time I had been in jail I had severe chest pain and begged that they call and a Doctor and they refused. Plus I had stopped eating and drinking. After court I went to see my cardiologist and my blood pressure was high and heart rate was high. My heart felt like it was going to jump from my chest. My potassium had dropped so low I had to go to the hospital and have potassium ran thru an iv. It was so low it could have killed me but yet the jail let me lay there for a week like that. A few months later they found out I also had three more blocked arteries in my heart. But the jail said there was nothing wrong with me. Wrong!!
Court
When you feel like your whole world has crumbled down around you I don't understand how anyone thinks you can go to court and hold yourself together. To start with our Judge was Judge Miles. Remember he is the one that didn't help us with my husbands ex wife and kids.
The day didn't start well anyhow. When i was walking to the courthouse there stood my step daughter Cathy and her mom Anita. I will be honest I was so mad I couldn't see straight but my husband told me to keep my mouth shut. I simply walked right by them as if they wasn't there while my husband stood and talked with them. The nerve of them to come to a closed court case over something they had caused!
My husband and I both had legal aid family attorneys waiting for us. He went to talk to his and I went to talk to mine. Mike Simms was my attorney and one of the first things he told me was I was not to speak to anyone but him from then on. We talked some but not much before we went in front of the Judge.
I was sitting with my mother in law when Cathy came and sat beside me. She went on to say that I should give her and her mom custody of my kids. I got up and walked up to Mike and told him what she had said and he said there was no way any Judge would ever do that. That was some relief for me.
We went up to stand in front of Judge Miles and Mike leaned over and said oh by the way Clint is in the hospital. I thought for sure I was going to pass out. When they arrested me and took them away he said he was going to kill himself so they took him to Kosairs and left him. They didn't even wait for him to see a Doctor and settle in because as the worker said it was past her time to be off work. My baby had been in Kosairs for a week and I hadn't known.
How they expect you to function is beyond me. It was all I could do not to strangle the lying CPS worker Kate Jeffcoat and stop crying for five minutes. The Judge told us the kids had to stay with CPS and made orders for us to visit and set another date to come back.
That was the start of our court dates. We was in court every two weeks for 6 months fighting for our kids.
The day didn't start well anyhow. When i was walking to the courthouse there stood my step daughter Cathy and her mom Anita. I will be honest I was so mad I couldn't see straight but my husband told me to keep my mouth shut. I simply walked right by them as if they wasn't there while my husband stood and talked with them. The nerve of them to come to a closed court case over something they had caused!
My husband and I both had legal aid family attorneys waiting for us. He went to talk to his and I went to talk to mine. Mike Simms was my attorney and one of the first things he told me was I was not to speak to anyone but him from then on. We talked some but not much before we went in front of the Judge.
I was sitting with my mother in law when Cathy came and sat beside me. She went on to say that I should give her and her mom custody of my kids. I got up and walked up to Mike and told him what she had said and he said there was no way any Judge would ever do that. That was some relief for me.
We went up to stand in front of Judge Miles and Mike leaned over and said oh by the way Clint is in the hospital. I thought for sure I was going to pass out. When they arrested me and took them away he said he was going to kill himself so they took him to Kosairs and left him. They didn't even wait for him to see a Doctor and settle in because as the worker said it was past her time to be off work. My baby had been in Kosairs for a week and I hadn't known.
How they expect you to function is beyond me. It was all I could do not to strangle the lying CPS worker Kate Jeffcoat and stop crying for five minutes. The Judge told us the kids had to stay with CPS and made orders for us to visit and set another date to come back.
That was the start of our court dates. We was in court every two weeks for 6 months fighting for our kids.
Blame Game
Talk about feeling alone I sure did. When my husband got home he was still mad. He was mad at me and my family. He was mad because he had lost his kids and my family he felt was the only one that caused it. I on the other hand felt as though his kids and ex wife played a role in what happened. At this point we wasn't seeing eye to eye on much of anything.
He informed me that he would do what he had to do to get his kids back and if that meant me leaving then I would leave. I would do anything for my kids to come home but what had brought that on? Come to find out Mitch Harris had told my husband that if he ever wanted to see his kids again then he would divorce me and move them as far from me and my family as he could because my family was all crazy. What?? Who is Mitch Harris to say such a thing? Mitch also told my husband that he would make sure I would never see my kids again. Well let me tell you something, that man had another thing coming if he thought that was gonna happen!
The bickering went on and off thru the night. My husband said it was all my families fault and I said no his kids and ex wife was involved and was to blame also. To this day we still don't agree on this subject and try to avoid it as much as possible.
I sit back now and think and I still have so much resentment from all of this. I resent my family, my husband, KSP, CPS and so many more people. They didn't want us to stand strong together and go against them. They wanted to break each of us down and turn us against each other and thats exactly what they did.
He informed me that he would do what he had to do to get his kids back and if that meant me leaving then I would leave. I would do anything for my kids to come home but what had brought that on? Come to find out Mitch Harris had told my husband that if he ever wanted to see his kids again then he would divorce me and move them as far from me and my family as he could because my family was all crazy. What?? Who is Mitch Harris to say such a thing? Mitch also told my husband that he would make sure I would never see my kids again. Well let me tell you something, that man had another thing coming if he thought that was gonna happen!
The bickering went on and off thru the night. My husband said it was all my families fault and I said no his kids and ex wife was involved and was to blame also. To this day we still don't agree on this subject and try to avoid it as much as possible.
I sit back now and think and I still have so much resentment from all of this. I resent my family, my husband, KSP, CPS and so many more people. They didn't want us to stand strong together and go against them. They wanted to break each of us down and turn us against each other and thats exactly what they did.
Going Home
We got out of jail late Sunday night. I remember sitting outside waiting and thinking what do I do from here? What do I do if they don't let my husband out? Where do I start? How do I find my kids? How do I get them back?
I wasn't sure how to go home without my kids being there. I know I was SO thankful that my dogs were there for me to go home to. My in laws had taken me home and my husband was with Caleb picking his car up.
My best friend had been going to the house and taking care of our dogs. They were so glad to see me! But I was so lost without my kids being there. No one knows what it is like to one minute your life be good with your kids and the next minute all three kids are gone.
I remember sobbing like there was no tomorrow that night. I felt so alone. I had no idea where my kids were or if they was ok or not. I walked thru the house and was just lost.
I had been told at 18 yrs old I would never have kids and God Blessed me with three great kids. From day one of being pregnant my life revolved around my kids. They were my pride and joy, my life, my everything. How would I go on without them?
I wasn't sure how to go home without my kids being there. I know I was SO thankful that my dogs were there for me to go home to. My in laws had taken me home and my husband was with Caleb picking his car up.
My best friend had been going to the house and taking care of our dogs. They were so glad to see me! But I was so lost without my kids being there. No one knows what it is like to one minute your life be good with your kids and the next minute all three kids are gone.
I remember sobbing like there was no tomorrow that night. I felt so alone. I had no idea where my kids were or if they was ok or not. I walked thru the house and was just lost.
I had been told at 18 yrs old I would never have kids and God Blessed me with three great kids. From day one of being pregnant my life revolved around my kids. They were my pride and joy, my life, my everything. How would I go on without them?
Jail
My husband I was in jail for a week. A lot of that we can thanks the bail bondsman for. She didn't bother taking the time to call and verify who we were so we just sat there. I wasn't allowed to see or speak to my husband. I cried and cried and said I just give up cause they took my babies. That was not what they wanted to hear.
They threw me in the front of the building in a glass room where when anyone new came in they could see me. They took my clothes. I had no TV, no phone and no one to talk to. So I cried. And cried and cried and cried some more. In the week we was there I slept about a total of 15 hours. I stopped eating everything. I was having severe chest pain. (I have had two heart attacks already) I was refused medical treatment. Every Time they shut the flap on the door I beat the door and screamed until they opened it. The nurse decided I needed to have someone sit outside the door and talk to me to try to keep me calm. That worked for a couple of hours but then a guard said she couldn't stay there anymore.
I saw the bruises from where Mitch had grabbed me and pushed me down. I asked for someone to take pictures and to file a complaint. Of course I was refused that also.
The last day I was there a different bail bondsman came by my door and I was crying and begging for him to please help me get out of there. He said he would call the judge and see what he could do. I figured he would never come back. But he did! He said the other bail bondsman hadn't made any calls to verify who we were so thats why we had been sitting there the whole week. The Judge had finally released me OR. Thank God!
As they were getting my paperwork ready for me to leave they said they were also releasing my husband. I was so happy but that happiness would soon turn to confusion once again.
I sat outside the jail and called my best friend on my cell phone. She had called my mother and father in law and they were coming to get me. It was about 1 A.M. on a Sunday. My husband came out of the jail and it was clear he was still mad. He had called his son Caleb to come get him and said I couldn't ride with them. So my mother and father in law took me home.
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They threw me in the front of the building in a glass room where when anyone new came in they could see me. They took my clothes. I had no TV, no phone and no one to talk to. So I cried. And cried and cried and cried some more. In the week we was there I slept about a total of 15 hours. I stopped eating everything. I was having severe chest pain. (I have had two heart attacks already) I was refused medical treatment. Every Time they shut the flap on the door I beat the door and screamed until they opened it. The nurse decided I needed to have someone sit outside the door and talk to me to try to keep me calm. That worked for a couple of hours but then a guard said she couldn't stay there anymore.
I saw the bruises from where Mitch had grabbed me and pushed me down. I asked for someone to take pictures and to file a complaint. Of course I was refused that also.
The last day I was there a different bail bondsman came by my door and I was crying and begging for him to please help me get out of there. He said he would call the judge and see what he could do. I figured he would never come back. But he did! He said the other bail bondsman hadn't made any calls to verify who we were so thats why we had been sitting there the whole week. The Judge had finally released me OR. Thank God!
As they were getting my paperwork ready for me to leave they said they were also releasing my husband. I was so happy but that happiness would soon turn to confusion once again.
I sat outside the jail and called my best friend on my cell phone. She had called my mother and father in law and they were coming to get me. It was about 1 A.M. on a Sunday. My husband came out of the jail and it was clear he was still mad. He had called his son Caleb to come get him and said I couldn't ride with them. So my mother and father in law took me home.
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What?
The Trooper that took me to the jail was actually a very nice man. He had remembered my kids from Troopers Island and talked highly of them. Now that I sit and think back I was rude to him. He let me get out and smoke before he took me in the jail and I told him I had always been taught to have respect for the police but now I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire. He just got this look but said nothing.
As we were waiting to go in the jail I saw my dad. He looked at me and turned his head. I will never ever in my life forget the look on his face. This was the man who had worked his whole life enforcing the law and we was always so proud of him and his job and so was he. Now he had been arrested because of lies. I remember as I was talking to the bail bondsman I was watching him pace back and forth in his cell and I kept telling her they need to check on him because his heart is very very bad. Come to find out months later he actually had a heart attack while there and his defibrillator shocked his heart. Hours and hours later he got to leave OR. As he walked by the cell I was in he just looked at me and walked off. I just cried and cried and knew my dad would never be the same again and he would never love me like he had before.
When they brought my husband in I could tell just by looking at him he was so mad. He just looked at me and turned his head. I was so hurt. I couldn't figure out what the heck was even going on much less deal with everyone being so mad at me. I finally got to use the phone after hours and hours. I called my mom and she was screaming at me how I had ruined my brothers life and how my dad had worked so hard his whole life at enforcing the law and now was in jail. I finally told her I didn't have to listen to that crap and hung up on her. Later I realized she was just as upset as I was about what was going on but I knew we would never be close again.
I got to jail early that day and was refused a phone call until up in the night. It was cold. I couldn't stop crying no matter what. All I could think about was my kids. Where were they? Were they ok? When would I see them again? It didn't take long for me to loose the will to live....
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
As we were waiting to go in the jail I saw my dad. He looked at me and turned his head. I will never ever in my life forget the look on his face. This was the man who had worked his whole life enforcing the law and we was always so proud of him and his job and so was he. Now he had been arrested because of lies. I remember as I was talking to the bail bondsman I was watching him pace back and forth in his cell and I kept telling her they need to check on him because his heart is very very bad. Come to find out months later he actually had a heart attack while there and his defibrillator shocked his heart. Hours and hours later he got to leave OR. As he walked by the cell I was in he just looked at me and walked off. I just cried and cried and knew my dad would never be the same again and he would never love me like he had before.
When they brought my husband in I could tell just by looking at him he was so mad. He just looked at me and turned his head. I was so hurt. I couldn't figure out what the heck was even going on much less deal with everyone being so mad at me. I finally got to use the phone after hours and hours. I called my mom and she was screaming at me how I had ruined my brothers life and how my dad had worked so hard his whole life at enforcing the law and now was in jail. I finally told her I didn't have to listen to that crap and hung up on her. Later I realized she was just as upset as I was about what was going on but I knew we would never be close again.
I got to jail early that day and was refused a phone call until up in the night. It was cold. I couldn't stop crying no matter what. All I could think about was my kids. Where were they? Were they ok? When would I see them again? It didn't take long for me to loose the will to live....
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
The day of hell....
August 4, 2011 was one of the worst days of my life. What started out that morning as normal ended up terrible. Mitch Harris called around 10 that morning and said he needed us to come in and finish some paperwork and our case would be done. My husband was at work and I didn't have a car so he said he would come get me.
We got dressed and Mitch was there pretty fast. He was at one door and another officer named Brian was at the other door. Me and the kids got in the car and was on our way to post when Mitch asked where my husband was working. I told him I wasn't sure where he was working that day or when he would be home. The rest of the ride was quiet and the kids were sitting in the lobby at post and I was standing outside the door smoking.
I was done smoking and walked in the lobby and my phone rang. It was my mom. She was yelling at me wanting to know why my dad and brother had been arrested. I was in total shock and asked her what she was talking about. The kids could hear her yelling and tell I was confused and they started getting upset. Mitch Harris came and opened the door from the lobby and told us to come inside Post.
I was still on the phone with my mom and she was still screaming at me. Mitch was on my left side and the kids were on my right side. Mitch started yelling at me to get off the phone. At that point I was so confused I didn't know what to do. Mitch reached up and grabbed my phone yelling that he told me to hang up the phone. About that time the other detective on the right of me grabbed Mindy by her arm and was yelling and I mean yelling in her face. That got my attention and it was on.
I yelled at him not to touch my daughter and not to talk to her like that. Mitch grabbed me from the left side and to be honest I went off. I Brian was still down in Mindys face yelling at her and I was yelling at him that I didn't care who he was he had no right to talk to her like that. After that all I can remember is hearing the kids crying and Mitch was grabbing me and pushing me around and even knocked me down.
He pushed me into a room with a whole bunch of desks and a couch with a coffee table in front of it and down onto the couch. I looked up and there sat Kate Jeffcoat. I straight out called her a stupid bitch and the Troopers said I wasn't going to talk to her like that and she stupidly said "excuse me"? Kate looked at me and said so is your dad the father of Clint my 16 yr old. I'm not even going to say what I said but Troopers came from everywhere and put me in handcuffs. Mitch read me my rights and asked me if I understood and I just glared at him.
The Trooper was walking me thru the hall and I saw my brother. I told him it would be okay and I loved him as I walked by because I could tell he was scared. I kept asking to see my kids and promised the Trooper I wouldn't do anything and I would tell them to calm down and it would be ok. He let my boys come in the hall and I told them I loved them and it would be ok but he wouldn't let Mindy come in the hall. I could hear her crying in another room. She later said she thought I had left without talking to her because I was mad at her.
That day I was arrested for Failure to report sexual abuse as well as my husband and dad was. My brother was arrested on 15 counts of rape and 5 of sexual assault on my daughter Mindy. My life had went to hell and back a couple of times in just a few hours. That was the start of the long fight we would have.
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
We got dressed and Mitch was there pretty fast. He was at one door and another officer named Brian was at the other door. Me and the kids got in the car and was on our way to post when Mitch asked where my husband was working. I told him I wasn't sure where he was working that day or when he would be home. The rest of the ride was quiet and the kids were sitting in the lobby at post and I was standing outside the door smoking.
I was done smoking and walked in the lobby and my phone rang. It was my mom. She was yelling at me wanting to know why my dad and brother had been arrested. I was in total shock and asked her what she was talking about. The kids could hear her yelling and tell I was confused and they started getting upset. Mitch Harris came and opened the door from the lobby and told us to come inside Post.
I was still on the phone with my mom and she was still screaming at me. Mitch was on my left side and the kids were on my right side. Mitch started yelling at me to get off the phone. At that point I was so confused I didn't know what to do. Mitch reached up and grabbed my phone yelling that he told me to hang up the phone. About that time the other detective on the right of me grabbed Mindy by her arm and was yelling and I mean yelling in her face. That got my attention and it was on.
I yelled at him not to touch my daughter and not to talk to her like that. Mitch grabbed me from the left side and to be honest I went off. I Brian was still down in Mindys face yelling at her and I was yelling at him that I didn't care who he was he had no right to talk to her like that. After that all I can remember is hearing the kids crying and Mitch was grabbing me and pushing me around and even knocked me down.
He pushed me into a room with a whole bunch of desks and a couch with a coffee table in front of it and down onto the couch. I looked up and there sat Kate Jeffcoat. I straight out called her a stupid bitch and the Troopers said I wasn't going to talk to her like that and she stupidly said "excuse me"? Kate looked at me and said so is your dad the father of Clint my 16 yr old. I'm not even going to say what I said but Troopers came from everywhere and put me in handcuffs. Mitch read me my rights and asked me if I understood and I just glared at him.
The Trooper was walking me thru the hall and I saw my brother. I told him it would be okay and I loved him as I walked by because I could tell he was scared. I kept asking to see my kids and promised the Trooper I wouldn't do anything and I would tell them to calm down and it would be ok. He let my boys come in the hall and I told them I loved them and it would be ok but he wouldn't let Mindy come in the hall. I could hear her crying in another room. She later said she thought I had left without talking to her because I was mad at her.
That day I was arrested for Failure to report sexual abuse as well as my husband and dad was. My brother was arrested on 15 counts of rape and 5 of sexual assault on my daughter Mindy. My life had went to hell and back a couple of times in just a few hours. That was the start of the long fight we would have.
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
Friday, April 26, 2013
Normal? I don't think so....
We tried to keep things as normal as we could for our kids even with the hell we were going thru. It was almost time for school to start so we bought school supplies. Our oldest was in football so he was going to practice. It was a hot summer so we was doing a lot of swimming in our pool.
About the only thing that wasn't normal was the total chaos we were living with my husbands kids and ex wife. It was constant trouble with those three. Caleb(changed) was 24 and Cathy(changed) was 18. Hi ex wife Anita was just a downright idiot. Caleb was living with us and wouldn't help around the house, always had friends over, was rude to the kids and very disrespectful so I told him he had to move. Needless to say this didn't go well at all. Words were said and here we went. He was making threats to our 16 yr old and me and fighting with his dad and on and on and on. So he called his mom and it went from bad to worse. Next thing I know she is at our house and yelling and cussing at my kids. I called the police and this went on forever and they finally told her if she didn't get in the car and leave she was going to jail. It didn't stop there. The police were at our house 5 times in 4 days over her coming over, making threats, yelling and cursing me and my kids, etc. I had lived with this from her and my step kids for 12 years and was done. I applied for an EPO on my step kids and my husband applied for one on his ex wife Anita.
We went to court in front of Judge Miles and he didn't do anything despite the threats to kill me that Anita had made. He said we all needed to stop. Well all I wanted was peace and all she wanted was to make our lives hell. All orders were dropped. At this point I flat refused to let my step kids come to our house, around me or my kids and even changed our phone number. I was fed up. But not as fed up as I was going to get.
A few days later Kate Jeffcoat came to us and told us she had a report that I had hit Mindy across the back and slapped her face. Kate had spoke to Mindy and Mindy told her it wasn't true as well as the boys did. So my husband called Caleb and Cathy and asked if they had went to CPS and why they had done that. Caleb said yes they had and that Cathy and Anita had done most of the talking. When he was asked why he said that their mother Anita had told them if they didn't go lie to CPS that she would throw them out in the street. At that point I was done and still am to this day. (This all happened three days before the sexual abuse came out)
The next day my husband I got up and went to see Kate at CPS. Kate assured us that she didn't believe the accusations and felt that they were made as revenge for the EPOs being taken out against them. She said we would be getting a letter saying they accusations were unfounded and the case was closed. We never did get that letter and in fact they used it against us in court.
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
About the only thing that wasn't normal was the total chaos we were living with my husbands kids and ex wife. It was constant trouble with those three. Caleb(changed) was 24 and Cathy(changed) was 18. Hi ex wife Anita was just a downright idiot. Caleb was living with us and wouldn't help around the house, always had friends over, was rude to the kids and very disrespectful so I told him he had to move. Needless to say this didn't go well at all. Words were said and here we went. He was making threats to our 16 yr old and me and fighting with his dad and on and on and on. So he called his mom and it went from bad to worse. Next thing I know she is at our house and yelling and cussing at my kids. I called the police and this went on forever and they finally told her if she didn't get in the car and leave she was going to jail. It didn't stop there. The police were at our house 5 times in 4 days over her coming over, making threats, yelling and cursing me and my kids, etc. I had lived with this from her and my step kids for 12 years and was done. I applied for an EPO on my step kids and my husband applied for one on his ex wife Anita.
We went to court in front of Judge Miles and he didn't do anything despite the threats to kill me that Anita had made. He said we all needed to stop. Well all I wanted was peace and all she wanted was to make our lives hell. All orders were dropped. At this point I flat refused to let my step kids come to our house, around me or my kids and even changed our phone number. I was fed up. But not as fed up as I was going to get.
A few days later Kate Jeffcoat came to us and told us she had a report that I had hit Mindy across the back and slapped her face. Kate had spoke to Mindy and Mindy told her it wasn't true as well as the boys did. So my husband called Caleb and Cathy and asked if they had went to CPS and why they had done that. Caleb said yes they had and that Cathy and Anita had done most of the talking. When he was asked why he said that their mother Anita had told them if they didn't go lie to CPS that she would throw them out in the street. At that point I was done and still am to this day. (This all happened three days before the sexual abuse came out)
The next day my husband I got up and went to see Kate at CPS. Kate assured us that she didn't believe the accusations and felt that they were made as revenge for the EPOs being taken out against them. She said we would be getting a letter saying they accusations were unfounded and the case was closed. We never did get that letter and in fact they used it against us in court.
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
The start of lies
Our life went on as usual. Football practices swimming, summertime and two of the kids went to Troopers Island. Everyday life was normal for us and pretty good.
We had made sure Mindy went on with counseling. Whenever the CPS worker Kate Jeffcoat would call us we would do whatever she asked. We had nothing to hide. Kate called to tell us that a Kentucky State Police Detective that lived about four houses down from us would be calling us to talk with us about what had happened.
I should have known then that my life had just went to hell in a handbasket. Let me back up just a little. My dad was a Kentucky State Trooper for 24 years. The Kentucky State Detective that was doing the investigation was Mitch Harris and he didn't like my dad and my dad didn't like him. My dad had been very loyal to the Kentucky State Police and felt like they were his extended family. Mitch literally said my dad was a "nobody" and needed to learn this. Mitch had made it well known he didn't like dad and didn't like my family. He even went as far as to bring another one of my brothers to my house and tell me that he shouldn't be walking down the side of the road. Mitch was drinking when he came to my door because I could smell it on him and his wife drove him to my house. My brother was very upset because Miitch had pushed him around in front of some other Trooper friends and proceeded to tell him that our dad was a nobody. We called the Kentucky State Police and the Trooper that came to our house said we had to ignore Mitch as he "was a drunk". I knew at that point it was gonna get bad.
Mitch told all of us to come to the Police Post so he could talk to us. So my husband, the kids and I all went. He made it all out to be calm and told us he wanted Mindy to go to the childrens center in Louisville to be questioned and examined We said ok as we wanted to help as much as possible.
Kate had us come in and sign a paper saying that we would keep the kids safe and away from my brother Joe. We agreed to this and was fine with it. While we was with Kate the kids said they were scared that she was going to take them away and she told them and my husband and I many times that we had done nothing wrong and that she would never take them away from us. What a blatant lie!
Mitch and Kate set up a time for us to take Mindy and the boys to the Center for children so they could be interviewed. We spoke with the Doctors and they all talked with the kids. The exam they did on Mindy they said was all normal. When we requested the records from there we was told no. We did get some of the records in the police report from our legal aid attorneys.
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
We had made sure Mindy went on with counseling. Whenever the CPS worker Kate Jeffcoat would call us we would do whatever she asked. We had nothing to hide. Kate called to tell us that a Kentucky State Police Detective that lived about four houses down from us would be calling us to talk with us about what had happened.
I should have known then that my life had just went to hell in a handbasket. Let me back up just a little. My dad was a Kentucky State Trooper for 24 years. The Kentucky State Detective that was doing the investigation was Mitch Harris and he didn't like my dad and my dad didn't like him. My dad had been very loyal to the Kentucky State Police and felt like they were his extended family. Mitch literally said my dad was a "nobody" and needed to learn this. Mitch had made it well known he didn't like dad and didn't like my family. He even went as far as to bring another one of my brothers to my house and tell me that he shouldn't be walking down the side of the road. Mitch was drinking when he came to my door because I could smell it on him and his wife drove him to my house. My brother was very upset because Miitch had pushed him around in front of some other Trooper friends and proceeded to tell him that our dad was a nobody. We called the Kentucky State Police and the Trooper that came to our house said we had to ignore Mitch as he "was a drunk". I knew at that point it was gonna get bad.
Mitch told all of us to come to the Police Post so he could talk to us. So my husband, the kids and I all went. He made it all out to be calm and told us he wanted Mindy to go to the childrens center in Louisville to be questioned and examined We said ok as we wanted to help as much as possible.
Kate had us come in and sign a paper saying that we would keep the kids safe and away from my brother Joe. We agreed to this and was fine with it. While we was with Kate the kids said they were scared that she was going to take them away and she told them and my husband and I many times that we had done nothing wrong and that she would never take them away from us. What a blatant lie!
Mitch and Kate set up a time for us to take Mindy and the boys to the Center for children so they could be interviewed. We spoke with the Doctors and they all talked with the kids. The exam they did on Mindy they said was all normal. When we requested the records from there we was told no. We did get some of the records in the police report from our legal aid attorneys.
Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
The Reveal
After much time and thought I have decided to start a blog. Will it help with the healing process? I don't know. Will it make everything in my life better? No I'm sure it won't. But if nothing else comes from this I will NOT stop until I expose Kentucky, CPS, The Kentucky State Police, Shelby County High School and everyone else involved in ruining our life. And you better believe I'm gonna name names and tell all! Also please feel free to comment on each blog or ask questions
August 4, 2011 was one of the worst days of my life. I re live this day every day and night. I don't think it will ever go away or get any better.That day was the start of my battle with CPS that would only get worse before it got better.
A month or so before we had taken my daughter who was 12 to the Doctor to be put on birth control because she was having troubles with her periods. The Doctor asked if she had ever had sex and she she said no except for what happened with Uncle Bill(changed for privacy). We was shocked. First we had heard of it.
The next day CPS worker Kate Jeffcoat was on our doorstep. Mindy (changed for privacy) wasnt home so we told the worker that we would bring her into the office as soon as she got home. That was our first mistake.
We took Mindy into the CPS office when she got home. Mindy was very upset and didn't want to talk to the workers. So I said if she didn't want to talk to them she didn't have to and Kate Jeffcoat rudely said if she didn't talk she would get a warrant and make her talk. Mindy being scared said she would talk.Us being stupid and not knowing the law said if she wanted to talk that was fine.
While Mindy was talking to one worker we were talking to Kate Jeffcoat and our boys Jeff(changed) who was 9 and Clint(changed) who was 14 was in another room playing.
The worker who had been talking to Mindy came in the room with us and told us that Mindy had been sexually molested by my 16 yr old mentally handicapped adopted brother Joe (changed for privacy). Our worlds fell apart. When had this happened, where had this happened, why had this happened and more questions came to mind.I felt sick. I felt guilt that this had happened to my child. I was mad at my brother. One by one details came out. That it had happened more then once, it had happened at my parents house and Mindy was afraid to tell us for fear she would be taken away.
August 4, 2011 was one of the worst days of my life. I re live this day every day and night. I don't think it will ever go away or get any better.That day was the start of my battle with CPS that would only get worse before it got better.
A month or so before we had taken my daughter who was 12 to the Doctor to be put on birth control because she was having troubles with her periods. The Doctor asked if she had ever had sex and she she said no except for what happened with Uncle Bill(changed for privacy). We was shocked. First we had heard of it.
The next day CPS worker Kate Jeffcoat was on our doorstep. Mindy (changed for privacy) wasnt home so we told the worker that we would bring her into the office as soon as she got home. That was our first mistake.
We took Mindy into the CPS office when she got home. Mindy was very upset and didn't want to talk to the workers. So I said if she didn't want to talk to them she didn't have to and Kate Jeffcoat rudely said if she didn't talk she would get a warrant and make her talk. Mindy being scared said she would talk.Us being stupid and not knowing the law said if she wanted to talk that was fine.
While Mindy was talking to one worker we were talking to Kate Jeffcoat and our boys Jeff(changed) who was 9 and Clint(changed) who was 14 was in another room playing.
The worker who had been talking to Mindy came in the room with us and told us that Mindy had been sexually molested by my 16 yr old mentally handicapped adopted brother Joe (changed for privacy). Our worlds fell apart. When had this happened, where had this happened, why had this happened and more questions came to mind.I felt sick. I felt guilt that this had happened to my child. I was mad at my brother. One by one details came out. That it had happened more then once, it had happened at my parents house and Mindy was afraid to tell us for fear she would be taken away.
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