What?

The Trooper that took me to the jail was actually a very nice man. He had remembered my kids from Troopers Island and talked highly of them. Now that I sit and think back I was rude to him. He let me get out and smoke before he took me in the jail and I told him I had always been taught to have respect for the police but now I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire. He just got this look but said nothing. 

As we were waiting to go in the jail I saw my dad. He looked at me and turned his head. I will never ever in my life forget the look on his face. This was the man who had worked his whole life enforcing the law and we was always so proud of him and his job and so was he. Now he had been arrested because of lies. I remember as I was talking to the bail bondsman I was watching him pace back and forth in his cell and I kept telling her they need to check on him because his heart is very very bad. Come to find out months later he actually had a heart attack while there and his defibrillator shocked his heart. Hours and hours later he got to leave OR. As he walked by the cell I was in he just looked at me and walked off. I just cried and cried and knew my dad would never be the same again and he would never love me like he had before.

When they brought my husband in I could tell just by looking at him he was so mad. He just looked at me and turned his head. I was so hurt. I couldn't figure out what the heck was even going on much less deal with everyone being so mad at me. I finally got to use the phone after hours and hours. I called my mom and she was screaming at me how I had ruined my brothers life and how my dad had worked so hard his whole life at enforcing the law and now was in jail. I finally told her I didn't have to listen to that crap and hung up on her. Later I realized she was just as upset as I was about what was going on but I knew we would never be close again.

I got to jail early that day and was refused a phone call until up in the night. It was cold. I couldn't stop crying no matter what. All I could think about was my kids. Where were they? Were they ok? When would I see them again? It didn't take long for me to loose the will to live....
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