Being A State Troopers Daughter

I love my dad with all my heart. I was always SO proud of what he did for a living. He was a Kentucky State Trooper and worked his butt off for them for 24 years. He followed the law to a t. He would even put one of his kids or wife in jail if needed.

Being a cops kid wasn't easy. People expected the best from you. They thought you should never do any wrong. But there is a saying. Preachers kids and cops kids are the worst. It didn't take long for me to realize throwing my dads name around to get out of trouble usually got me into more trouble. Most people didn't like dad because he was a cop and he did follow the law so strict.

I was told by a State Trooper once that once a cop always a cop and once a cops kids always a cops kid. That the KSP stuck together and was always family no matter what. The trooper said if you was ever in trouble or in a wreck you would get taken care of first because you were "family"

Well thats a bunch of shit. Nothing but a lie. They turned on my dad so fast his head was spinning. The detective that made the lies up about us, Mitch Harris, didn't like my dad and my dad didn't like him. Mitch said it was time my dad learn he was a "nobody". Well whatever. Family my ass.

I always wanted my first born son to follow in my dad's footsteps and become a KSP. His dream was to follow him and be a KSP but not anymore. I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire. I hope one of my kids goes to school and becomes something to take down people like Kate and Mitch and the other bad ones.

I'm still proud of my dad because he followed the law as a KSP and still does today. He was given the raw end of the deal by KSP. He taught us right from wrong and even though none of his kids because anything famous we did turn out ok. We have our own families and we follow the law regardless of what we were accused of. He is a good man that was done wrong. Our whole family was done wrong but justice will be done. And it will be done legally unlike what was done to us.

A Good Day

Two weeks ago I finally broke down and saw a physiatrist  What a difference that one man made in my life. I have been on several different meds for depression, anxiety and PTSD in the last two years since our life was torn apart by CPS and KSP but not much was working. When all of this first happened to us I was told if I went and got help for depression they would use it against me in court.

So two weeks ago after waiting forever I finally got in to see a GREAT physiatrist. He put me back on xanax and on Cymbalta. He told me it is ok to cry, be angry, be sad and yell. That I have every right in the world to. He said me and my kids need to find a way to rise over the bad that has happened to us. And yes that it does hurt to talk about this and I feel like it makes it worse but in the end talking will make it better. So I now have an app with a counselor and that day I started this blog. We as a family as a family are also working to help other foster kids with things they need.

The last two weeks I haven't cried or screamed and have been more focused on how to make a positive out of a negative. And also on how to change laws and make people be held accountable for what they have done to us.

So I saw my Doctor today and he said I was smiling and he was smiling because I told him the plans we have and the positive way he affected me. Am I still mad? Oh yes! Im very mad but its time to take that anger and make it effective. 

The Blunt Truth

One thing you will find out thru this blog is I am telling it bluntly the way it is. The only names I have changed has been my kids names. They have had a hard enough time dealing with all of this to start with. The workers and Judges and so forth....well I think they should be exposed. I think everyone should know who they are and what they have done. There isn't one single thing I have said that I don't have documentation to back it up so let them challenge me.

Dos and Don'ts with CPS, Police

You do NOT have to talk to a CPS worker or the Police period!! Unless they have a warrant in their hand signed from a Judge you don't have to speak to them or let them speak to your kids. Your kids schools do NOT have the right to allow a CPS worker or the police to speak to your child without you there. I'm sure your kids schools have told you that they have to allow a worker or the police to talk to your kids. IT IS A LIE! They do not have to allow it. They do have to call you before they let them talk to your kids.

We had two CPS workers go to Clints school when he was around 5/6 and strip him down completely naked and actually touch his penis. They had a report of child abuse which had nothing to do with his penis. The teachers and principals actually put Clint in a room with him and left him alone with them.

You have the right to say no and shut the door. If they come back with the police and no warrant shut the door NO MATTER WHAT THREAT THEY MAKE!! They can not do anything without a warrant even if they say they can. DON'T believe them if they tell you different!

Your child has a right to say I do not and will not talk to you until you call my parents and have a tape recorder here. Your child does NOT have to speak with them. They can NOT make you leave while they talk to your child. ITS THE LAW!

My kids now I'll say I'm not talking to you without my parents so say what you want but it's not gonna happen. And I'm darn proud of them for it! They will tell the police, CSP and anyone else that. My kids trust no one except me, their dad and each other(Mindy, Jeff, Clint) They don't trust their half-brother and sister because they were one reason they were removed. The only sad part of it is if something happened they wouldn't call the police no matter what it was and never will me or their dad. They can't be trusted.

No one is to blame for this but CPS and KSP and they can thank themselves for it. They lied to my kids, ripped them away from a good home and placed them in bad homes. My own family turned on me so they don't even trust them. Thats what happens when you lie to kids.

Anger, Night Terrors, Every Day Life

Normal left our family a long time ago. Our life before CPS was an everyday same routine. Now it all depends on each person's moods in this house. There is 3 of us with depression and PTSD so moods go from happy to crying to just mad and yelling.

The night terrors are the worst most of the time. Mindy, Clint and I have them terrible. We jump out of the bed screaming and yelling. We hit walls. We don't know we are doing it and don't remember doing it the next day. The thing with these PTSD night terrors is you don't touch the person when they are doing it. You are reliving what happened to you. They are terrible.

Its hard to deal with your own PTSD and depression when your trying to help your kids deal with it. How do you help them when you don't have the answers for them?

The anger I have and my kids have toward CPS and KSP will never go away. I can't explain to them why what happened happened or how to make it better. They are angry for being jerked away from us. They are angry for never being allowed to say what we were accused of is a lie. They are angry for being mistreated in foster homes. There is so much anger from all of us.

Jeff had only been away from me one time in his life in 9 years before foster care. He was a mama's boy. He hugged me and told me he loved me 10 times a day. When he came home he had been mistreated in foster care and drugged. I remember telling him he couldn't do something one day and him getting in my face and saying what you gonna do about it bitch?. I just turned around and walked off and didn't say a word. NEVER in his life would he ever have spoke to me like that before foster care. He has gotten a lot better but he still has his days. Some days he will just get so mad he will cry and say he just doesn't understand why they did what they did to us. He goes from calm to plain downright pissed off and can't think in 2 seconds. He will be 12 this year and he still sneaks in our bed every night. He doesn't want to go anywhere away from us. He is fine with his friends coming over here but he won't stay with friends. He doesn't want anyone to know they were in foster care. He doesn't want anyone to know anything that happened. Before foster care him and Mindy was VERY close. Now they are not. While they were in foster care they weren't even allowed to step in each others rooms or hug each other if one was crying. I am slowly getting my baby back but he will never be the same.

Mindy has night terrors every night. Her moods are crazy. One minute she is happy and the next she is crying. Yes she is in counseling and on medicine. Her night terrors are of being taken away from us and the detective grabbing her arm and screaming in her face. Plus she was sexually abused by a former foster dad and has to deal with that. She lives in fear of him coming after her every day. Mindy has a lot of guilt for telling what happened because she feels that is why I can't see my parents and why my siblings turned on me. Her guilt over that will never go away no matter what we say to her.

Clint has missed a lot of school this year. He actually got ulcers from this crap and was in the hospital from that. This caused tension migraines and he was in the hospital from that. Then he got so depressed he went to bed and wouldn't get up. He cried for a day and a half straight. He lost 20 pounds in one month. I tried and tried to pull him out of it and couldn't  He finally said he needed to go to the mental part of Kosiars and get help. He was there for a week and I missed him like crazy. His behaviour when he first came home was a lot like Jeffs. He has turned around 75%.  He is very very close to my parents and brothers and can't see my parents due to the no contact order with my brother because he still lives at home. He is very angry and depressed over that. He wants my mom to come here and stay a few days and she can't because of my brothers and he resents that also.

Each day is a little better for the most part. What keeps us going is each other supporting each other and the kids knowing I am still fighting trying to find someone to sue CPS and KSP. And now trying to help other foster kids and making a positive out of this negative. No matter what the five of us will always stick together. 

PTSD, Anxiety and more

I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD from this traumatic event. The Doctor said it was as bad as someone that had seen terrible things in war. I have awful night terrors. I beat my husband. I stand on the bed and beat the walls and scream and yell. I jump off the bed. So far I have dislocated my elbow, shoulder and broke my foot in three paces not counting the endless bruises. I have severe anxiety.  I don't want the kids out of my sight even for school. I have told them they can trust no one because of how people lied. I have days when I just cry and the kids don't like that much. They are not used to seeing me cry so they don't know what to think. They always said I was overprotective before this happened and now they say I'm very over protective.

Clint was also diagnosed with PTSD. He suffers severe anxiety. He got so depressed he was in Kosairs for over a week. He lost over 20 pounds and went to bed and slept and cried. He never cries but one night he started crying and cried for a day and a half non stop. He said he hadn't cried since it all happened and now it just all came out. He also was very sick and in Kosairs for a week and had several tests done. Come to find out he had ulcers from all of this. He was very close to my parents and brothers and isn't allowed contact with my brother and can't see my parents because my brother still lives at home. His sleeping is as wild as mine. He jumps out of the bed screaming and yelling. He used to want to be a State Trooper and follow in my dads footsteps but no longer wants any part of that. Clint is MMD to start with and has suffered anxiety since CPS went to school and stripped him naked when he was about 5/6 and even went so far as to touch his penis. As usual we couldn't get anyone to help us even then. Every since that happened his anxiety has been terrible.

Workers making news for domestic violence

What totally amazes me to this very day is some of the people they let take other peoples kids. 

Kate Jeffcoat made the news a few weeks after she took my kids away for domestic violence with her husband. And her kids were there when it happened! But did anyone take her kids or investigate her? NOPE they sure didn't!! Why is that I wonder? Because she is a CPS worker and her husband is a cop? Its wrong. Very wrong!

http://behindthebluewall.blogspot.com/2011/08/ky-officer-jeffcoat-former-deputy.html 

Now I'm not going to get into this a whole lot but I am going to say I feel very very sorry for her husband. He was a Police Officer and got into trouble. And from what I understand from several sources very close to them he was NOT at fault. But if she did to him what I was told she did then he should have "slung" her around. Sorry but thats my personal opinion. All she managed to do was ruin this mans name. And the news media and KSP helped her to do it. I met this man and he was a very nice man who didn't deserve this.

Personally I couldn't care less. My point of this whole post is to prove a point. Some of these CPS workers are getting drunk and having domestic violence in their house in front of their kids and getting away with it. Someone should go in and not ask them the truth and then make up lies about them and jerk their kids away from them and see how they like it. They are not any better than anyone else!

THE VIEWS HERE ARE MY OPINIONS OTHER THAN THE LINK AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE. I HAVE A RIGHT TO VOICE MY OPINIONS.

Attorneys sleeping with workers

This post I'm going to have to think a little bit about before I write. I know what I want to write and who it is about but before I do I have to have the court documents in hand. But I will say this DID happen in our case with an attorney and CPS worker.

Starting over

Starting over was not what we had planned. We had lived in the same place in Shelby County for going on six years and had established roots. The kids had their friends. We had family close to us. My husband had worked there for 15 years. Clint was in football and Mindy cheerleading. But low and behold when the news channels posted our faces and the accusations on TV and the newspaper put us on the front page our lives there was over.

When the kids came home their friends were so happy to see them. When we took them to school the first day their friends went nuts they were all so happy! But we couldn't go anywhere that someone didn't question us or give us the look.

We had two big problems. The deputy sheriff at the Shelby County High School and the Resource officer at Heritage Elementary school. Those two didn't know anything but what the media reported but they sure felt the need to run their mouths to everyone.

One of Clint's best friends was at our house more than his own home because his mom was a single mom. The Deputy Sheriff felt the need to call this child's parents into the school to tell them that he didn't need to come to our house because we had had our kids taken for abuse and sexual abuse. They were told we were bad parents and their child should not come near us. It just so happened that we had already told this childs mom what happened but the dad didn't know. The mom called me and told me about being called in the office and being told this and more. She was as amazed as I was that anyone would go around talking about people like this let alone the Deputy Sheriff for the school. I was so pissed to be blunt. I got in my car and went right to the school. Of course the principal said this lady would never do that and he would talk to her about it. The next day I got a phone call from the deputy sheriff herself saying she hadn't worded it like that to the parents and did I want to tell her what happened so she could help. Yeah right like that was going to happen. I just flat told her she didn't know the facts or what had happened therefore she needed to stay out of it and keep her mouth shut. So she then called the mom of Clients best friend to ask her why she told me that she had told her what they talked about. So I called the school and told them about both phone calls from the Deputy Sheriff at the school and called the board of education office and told them if they didn't shut her up I was going to sue the crap out of them.

Then the resource officer at Heritage  Elementary called our CPS worker to tell them he didn't think we should have our kids back because we were poor. Are you kidding me? Who was he to say such a thing? Thank goodness for his sake he left for China to do volunteer work that week. I was so mad. I went to the school principal there and told him what had happened and the counselor there. The principle simply said that was the resource counselors opinion and he had a right to call CPS with any concern that he had. I told him I would be calling the board of Education office. He quit that year when school was out. This was the school all three kids had went to and I couldn't believe they were acting that way.

So we decided to move. We moved two hours away from there. We have started over here. The last day of school the secretary at the elementary school asked my kids where we was moving and I plain told her it was none of her business. She was best buddies with KSP and went to Troopers Island with them every year. She was the last person I wanted to know where we moved to.

Starting over has been hard. We moved way in the country. We live so far out we don't even get a cell phone signal. The house we moved into is old and being redone from top to bottom. We moved to a farm which was new to the kids but they now love farm life. They had to make all new friends and start all new schools and this was after being moved 4 times in 6 months while in foster care. But we finally have some peace. Only the counselors where the kids go for counseling know what happened. Mindy told a few what she thought was friends at school and learned very fast that was a mistake.

We didn't want to move but we did and we have survived this far and will keep surviving as long as we have each other

Finding Out Sexual abuse by Foster Father

Finding out about sexual abuse by former foster father. Coming soon

Mental Hospital

Coming soon

4 homes in 6 months

I would love for someone to tell me how moving kids to 4 different homes in 6 months is good for them? Or to homes with a both working parents when I was a stay at home parent with them? Or moving them in the middle of the night? Respite homes because they didn't want to fool with them for Thanksgiving?

One thing I made sure of was that they didn't split my kids into different homes. I felt they had always been together and should stay together plus they could protect each other.

The first foster home was a single lady who had a teenage foster daughter. She made it every clear she didn't like my boys at all. She said she would keep Mindy but not the boys. So they moved them.

The second home wasn't bad or so we thought. The foster mom did work and they did have a sitter. The foster mom did believe in talking to me about everything with the kids. We talked about school and sports before she put them in sports.She put Clint in football and Jeff in Karate and Mindy was doing horseback riding. They were all taking piano lessons from her as well. But they weren't there very long before Mindy had one of her PTSD rages and when foster mom was safely holding her down to keep her from hurting herself or someone else CPS threw a fit. The police was called and Mindy was placed in Our Lady Of Peace for almost 3 months. At 10 PM one night I got a call from the kids and foster mom crying because they were moving them to a respite home and finding them a new home. All because foster mom tried to keep my daughter safe by wrapping her arms around her.

The boys went to a respite home for the night and Mindy went to Our Lady Of Peace. The next day they placed them in another foster home.

This foster home was an older couple and they were downright mean to my kids. The foster dad many times made threats to physically attack Clint. Clint didn't put up with that either. Foster dad drew his fist up to Clint several times. On the nightly phone calls the kids were not allowed to tell us these things or we wasn't allowed to talk to them. They sent them to a respite home for Thanksgiving because they had family coming in and didn't want the boys there. They literally lost Jeff several times. Once in the neighborhood and several times in the store. They told them they could go shop alone and lost him. I was livid!! When Mindy was let out of OLOP and went where the boys were it really didn't go well. Foster mom was just mean in every way she could be to them.

Foster mom didn't like Jeffs "behaviour" and had him put in OLOP after Makayla came out. She said he was to hyper. I said from day one I did NOT want him on medicine and she wouldn't stop until they out him on meds for ADHD. My attorney told me not to fight it or they would come after me for medical neglect.  They give him his medicine at school to help him sit still but we do not give it at home and I will not!

Holidays

Mindy's birthday was October 28. We were able to get friends to supervise and got to take the kids to the park and have a party with her. The day went really well.

Jeffs birthday was August 30. His birthday was the day after mine. Since he was born we had never been apart on our birthdays. I don't know who was more upset me or him. We got to have a small party for him in the office with a worker watching.

Clint's birthday was December 14th. My husbands birthday is December 7th and they celebrate their birthdays together. Birthdays that year was very hard on us. We were able to get them each cakes and gifts but didn't get to have them on their actual birthday.

We were able to get the boys for Thanksgiving but not Mindy. Our friends couldn't supervise a visit that day.

Christmas was a nightmare! We always did some gifts Christmas Eve at my parents and gifts Christmas day with my grandparents. We didn't get to do either of those. We got the kids a few hours Christmas Eve and Christmas Day because our friends supervised Mindys visit. Christmas Day the kids just cried and cried when they had to go back and so did I. Christmas was always a huge holiday for us and it was ruined. The kids were told they weren't allowed to bring anything we got them back to the foster home.

A few days before Christmas Jeff said they didn't have anything under the tree and wasn't getting anything from Santa because the foster parents said they were bad. I asked foster mom if I needed to bring her stuff to give them and she got very mad and snotty. In the end come to find out had  the school the kids went to not bought for them they wouldn't have gotten anything for Christmas at the foster home. I am actually friends with one of the ladies who bought for them for Christmas.

Even after the kids came home Holidays have never been the same. Because of the no contact order with my brother and the kids and my brother and me we have missed Christmas with my parents and grandmother every since then. I often wonder if the Holidays will ever be the same again